If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
