Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
did i just pee glitter
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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