He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
