dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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