So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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