3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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