I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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