no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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