i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
