We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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