I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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