So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
