i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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