Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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