apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
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