After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
