I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
