i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
