The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
