In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
