it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
