sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
