Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
