on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
