I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
