shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You have to summon your inner elephant
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
this is an emotional support booty call
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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