No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
