I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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