In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
