you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
