OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
