I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
