in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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