I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
