She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I am midnight drunk by noon
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
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