he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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