My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
