we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
