can we get nightvision for the apartment?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
