hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
