ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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