It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
50% drunk capacity currently
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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