he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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