Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
