Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
