I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
