You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
