They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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