I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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