just survived the first fart of the relationship.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
