I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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