Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
