This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
