You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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