ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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