Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
