I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
