none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
