Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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