i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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