I have demons in me.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
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Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
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I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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