Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
