i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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