So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
