You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
