Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
